I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
