Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
