I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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