I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
