member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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