just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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