You're completely useless in the revolution.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
