Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Found your dick twin last night
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
