he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
