I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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