It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
