so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
