you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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