Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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