I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
