real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have fence marks all over my body
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
