I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
