Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
