I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
