dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
