I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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