Non-Jews are for practice
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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