I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
