Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
