I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
