Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
