I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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