The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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