is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
