uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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