You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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