By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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