As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
