i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
