it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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