why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
