On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
