two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
