why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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