Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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