Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
