beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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