Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
