Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
