I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
