I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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