I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
