How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
