I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
