He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
